It is a week since I have arrived in Colombia!
So I’m getting slowly better at speaking in Spanish and speaking to others. I am so thankful to Google Translate. Yesterday and today I had full conversations via the website. We spoke about everything- God, religion, our background, what we like to eat. I had a long conversation with the housekeeper- an 18 year old, single mother (two boys under 2), from Venezuela. She spends all day here taking care of the house- cooking, cleaning, watching three kids. She does everything on her own, she has no familial or financial support outside of what she makes working. At least this job she is able to eat meals, so she is able to use the money she makes to feed her boys. Our lives could not be so different. She had her first kid at 15, which she said was too early, but when I told her I was 31 without kids, she asked me what I was waiting for, if I am waiting till I’m 60. I told her it was hard to find a guy, her answer was all I have to do is walk down the street.
Twice this week I taught in the same community, a Conservative convert community. They are amazing. So sweet and caring, with such desires to learn Torah. I am enjoying going to the communities here, although one thing that is weird for me is that they want to do everything for me. They are going out of their way to make sure that I have things to eat, that I have a good time in Colombia, and that I don’t have to do anything but teach. I offer to help in the kitchen or set up tables, and I am told to sit and a giant plate of fresh fruit is placed in front of me. Or in the house I am staying in, the house keeper does all of the cooking. I just have to sit down and eat. I don’t even clear my spot- even though I really want to. I don’t have a problem being in the spot light, but it is very strange to be served.
I finally applied to my dream job. I really don’t know if I want it or not. Well, I do know I want it, but wanting it scares me. I spoke to someone the other day and she made me realize that. Her husband happened to be in the car and was like, listen you are going to be single and in the spot light, there are going to be guys lining up the door to meet you. On a practical note, she did say to try and make it a point to travel to larger cities so you can date, so you are not just stuck where you are. People here want to know where I live, and I am saying in NY. And when they ask about a community my answer is that I will be working in the hospital (I finally started the paperwork). But there is a chance that wont’ be true. There is a chance I will be living somewhere else, in a different country. I feel like my soul is being torn into three and I really don’t know where I am meant to be or where I really belong….
Somehow being here I just don’t hear the news as much. Maybe I’m not on my computer as much as I usually am, maybe it’s because I can’t understand the news if it is playing on the radio, maybe it’s because they don’t care as much of what is going on in the US. I finally read the other day about all that is going on with the US and North Korea- and the thing is, I’m scared. Part of me wants to believe that it is just two guys trying to show off their strength and nothing really is going to happen. And the other part of me sees the destruction of the world as we know it. I see destruction and there is nothing that we can do to save ourselves. Maybe I won’t be in the US- but what about my parents, siblings, grandparents, friends? Am I going to be ok with knowing they are suffering? They won’t all be able to get to me. And if something, God forbid happens, who is to say that it won’t spread? The world is becoming a scarier and scarier place to live in, and I’m not really sure what to do about that except for praying– although I also feel like my prayers are for nothing… I don’t understand how there can be so much hate. How there can be so much disrespect for human kind. How there are leaders in the world that care more about themselves than for the people they are supposed to be caring for.
In my short prayer, I ask that God makes this stop, starts to help people act as humans, and protect us all from evil in the world. May those who are wise, use their wisdom to create good. May those who are in power, use their power for peace.