Posted in Life, Overwhelmed, Uncategorized

Blank Page- Blank Mind

I don’t know how to start. I was looking at a blank word document and instead I am writing here on my blog.

I just found out that a dream job has an opening, and I was told that I should apply- by the job itself.

And here I am and I am not sure how to start the application. I have no clue how to start the cover letter or how to contact my references.

I am not sure that I have the right words. I don’t know what it is that they want to hear. I don’t know what the implications are if I would get such a job.

If I get this position everything will be changing. I will be moving to another country (again). I have spent the past 6 months getting used to the idea that I will be working in a hospital in NY, but that might be changing. I have finally found a new place in NY, and there is a chance I might have to move. I will be moving to a smaller community, and I have to have the strength to know I am doing this big move alone.

Thinking about the job I am excited. It is something I would be excited to talk about. When I got the job at the hospital, I felt like I couldn’t breathe- almost like someone punched me in the stomach. When I found out about this opening, I also couldn’t breathe, but it was that of excitement and a bit of fear.

I am afraid of doing it alone. I am afraid that it might mean that I won’t get married. I am afraid that I won’t be able to do the job well. I am questioning if I really do know enough and am qualified enough (even though I know people that are equally or less qualified do this job all the time). I am afraid of what it means to actually get the job that I have been dreaming about….

Everyone I have spoken to has told me I should apply. Here is a message from my friend, may her words be true. I hope I do actually have the strength and power for this. Here is to getting this application out.

You are never sequestered to aloneness. You never know. There’s a door in you that begs you to open it. It’s in you – Not in the World…You are a Brave bitch! Get into your amazing heart, And ride it hard! The world and your sex life are waiting

 

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Author:

I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

3 thoughts on “Blank Page- Blank Mind

      1. You are welcome 😊. Your blog is really awesome and inspiring. Please continue blogging and inspire people around you 😊. And if you can please do visit my blog and let me know about it. It would be really helpful 😊. This is the link to my blog

        http:// authorabhijith.com

        Liked by 1 person

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