Posted in Life, Overwhelmed

Constant Motion

This time last year, at least in the Jewish calendar was my first Shabbat in Australia.

This time this year, is my last Shabbat in the apartment in New York. I will be moving out on Monday.

Sunday is an in and out trip to Atlanta. Thursday I am off to Colombia for two weeks. When I return I am starting my new job here in NY.

This is my last Shabbat living in my own apartment. It has been an entire year of living alone, and my next apartment will be with roommates.

Once again it is the Shabbat before Tisha B’Av. The world just feels tense – people storming the Temple Mount; only last Shabbat a family was stabbed to death while eating Shabbat dinner and anticipating a celebration to welcoming in their new baby; the plans for health care in the US have been going up and down, people terrified for their lives and the lives of their loved ones; leaders of the world making declaration against people- telling them they are not allowed to be part of the community, they are less than, they are not wanted…

Once again we will sit on the floors, reading Eicha, crying or at least trying to. We will think about what we can do better for the world. Look at the broken state of it all. Think about all of the bad- those who are hurting; those that are in need; those that are broken- and trying to come up with some way to rationalize it and find ways to try and make the world a better place.

But before we know it, that day is over. Then 6 days later is the day of love. Then 7 weeks later it is already Rosh Hashana…

And then the year has begun again. The holidays; the birthdays; the special events; the memories of where we were last year this time; the applying for what is next; the making decisions; the waiting…

The waiting for answers from others and based on those answers the hope that what is chosen is the right thing. Maybe it will be a choice for a year? Or two? Or 12? Or the next 50?

Who knows where I will be this time next year….

 

 

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Author:

I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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