Posted in Life

Where Should I Move? (The NY Apartment Hunting Edition)

It is the end of the July and once again this year I need to move. I need to move out of the apartment that I am subletting by the end of the month. It is crazy to me that it is already the summer– at times it seems like only yesterday that I saw this place. It was the middle of winter. I had just arrived back in the US. And the summer and future seemed so far off.

This time last year (at least in the Jewish calendar) it was about 5 days before I moved to Australia! Oh how a year has passed…but that is for another time.

As I will be staying in NY for another year, I must find a new place to live. I need to move out, basically this week, as next week is Tisha B’Av, and then I fly to Columbia for two weeks on the 3rd of August, and the guy I am subletting from comes back the 14th.

I have so many thoughts playing out about where I want to live. So far nothing has stuck out and made me feel like it would be home for me. But as of right now I have narrowed it down- although I still don’t feel sure.

I am debating about living on my own vs. living with roommates.

Living on my own is great. I have my own space, I can do what I want when I want to. It is my mess. It feels more adult, I am almost 32 (if I can’t have a place with a significant other, I might as well be with someone else). But on the other hand, it is more expensive and can be lonely.

Living with roommates could be good. It is cheaper. I don’t need to buy a whole apartment worth of furnishings (I have nothing but clothing and some books, so I would have to buy EVERYTHING). I would also not have to deal with the annoyance of setting up internet and bills. These past couple of months in NY have been quite lonely, but if I lived with other people I would be able to meet their friends (and hopefully even become friends with them). But the apartment wouldn’t be mine, I would be entering into someone else’s home, and try to figure out their rules and how things run. I would not be able to have people over whenever I wanted or do what I wanted all the time.

But maybe that is worth the money…

In short I have 4 options:

A. A studio that is $1950 a month (yay NY pricing 😦 ). It is actually a decent size. It has a laundry. It is on the first floor. [Down sides: small, studio, 18% yearly rent as commission…]

B. A friend’s 1 bedroom apartment. 5th floor with an elevator. $1950. Nice apartment, the living room is really big. [Downside: NO LAUNDRY]

C. Girl’s apartment (2 other girls). $1550 a month. Elevator, doorman, laundry room. Large apartment, has a porch, light, the girls seem nice. [Downside: one of the girls has been there for 8 years- not sure how I feel about entering into someone’s space; they could say no, which then could mess up getting D or another option if they don’t tell me quick enough; I’m worried about living with UWS girls…; I am worried that I might want people over and they won’t like it]

D. Guy’s apartment (2 other guys). $2100 a month. Elevator, doorman laundry IN THE APARTMENT. Really large bedroom with a toilet. Large living room, great kitchen, porch, lots of light. Guys seem nice. They already sent me an email saying they want me to take it. [Downside: The price, it is really expensive….; stigma of being religious and living with guys]

So this is what it is. Choice D told me they want me. I think I am leaning towards C (really only because of pricing- if they were the same or even only $100 difference I would go with D), but C I need to give me an answer, and NY apartments go super fast, so if I ask for a day for D, they might not give it to me, and if C says no then I am left with nothing.

I am also worried that I am “down grading” by going from my own place to a shared place, and if I have the option maybe I should go with that…even though having my own place has not really brought me all that many people into my apartment.

Ok, so if anyone is out there reading this, and if it makes sense at all- WHAT SHOULD I DO? (I kinda have to talk to people in the morning EST).



I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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