Posted in Life

One Year

It’s hard to believe but it has been a year since I moved to the US.

Today was not something special. I chose not to speak about it in school, because really I had nothing to say. Since going to the mikvah the other week, things have been a bit calmer and I am less upset. I am even able to say that I am living here and what I will be doing next year, although I have not yet written anything on Facebook or anything public like that (although it was just in an announcement from school). I don’t know it was the mikvah that changed things or if it was just the timing that changed things.

But for now I am closer to ok with what I will be doing next. I’m not yet at the excited and happy point, but maybe that will happen.

It is next week that I will take my final exam and have my klaf signed. I am nervous. I am nervous that I will blank on everything on the exam. I am nervous of what it means when this is done. I have been a student basically for my entire life, and now I will not be. So much of my identity has been being a rabbinical student- it will be an interesting change being a rabbi and a chaplain.

I am also excited. I am really going to be a rabbi. This crazy dream I had is going to be real. I am no longer going to be a student. I am going to be a rabbi and a chaplain. I know that I know things, and that they are not expecting me to know everything.

I think about the things that have happened in the past 12 months:

  • Moved to the US
  • Completed a unit of CPE
  • Moved to Australia
  • Taught at an embassy
  • Saw the Great Barrier Reef, Sydney Opera House, Bondi Beach and other places
  • Worked as an assistant rabbi of a shul
  • Had an internship at a shul
  • Had explicit conversations
  • Became an aunt
  • Wrote tshuvot
  • Lived in New York City
  • Danced with Bill Nye
  • Went to Zurich
  • Felt like my heart was broken but then had it mend a bit

It was by far not an easy year. There were parts that were amazing and parts that had me crying almost daily. I hope that this upcoming year I will feel like I made the right choices. I hope that it is one of growth and feeling of calm. A year that I feel complete.

 

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Author:

I'm not always the greatest at sharing what is in my head. Here is a place that I am experimenting with sharing my ideas and thoughts. They are about my life, my experiences in becoming a rabbi, things that I see going on around me, and sometimes words of Torah.

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