Posted in Life

One Year

It’s hard to believe but it has been a year since I moved to the US.

Today was not something special. I chose not to speak about it in school, because really I had nothing to say. Since going to the mikvah the other week, things have been a bit calmer and I am less upset. I am even able to say that I am living here and what I will be doing next year, although I have not yet written anything on Facebook or anything public like that (although it was just in an announcement from school). I don’t know it was the mikvah that changed things or if it was just the timing that changed things.

But for now I am closer to ok with what I will be doing next. I’m not yet at the excited and happy point, but maybe that will happen.

It is next week that I will take my final exam and have my klaf signed. I am nervous. I am nervous that I will blank on everything on the exam. I am nervous of what it means when this is done. I have been a student basically for my entire life, and now I will not be. So much of my identity has been being a rabbinical student- it will be an interesting change being a rabbi and a chaplain.

I am also excited. I am really going to be a rabbi. This crazy dream I had is going to be real. I am no longer going to be a student. I am going to be a rabbi and a chaplain. I know that I know things, and that they are not expecting me to know everything.

I think about the things that have happened in the past 12 months:

  • Moved to the US
  • Completed a unit of CPE
  • Moved to Australia
  • Taught at an embassy
  • Saw the Great Barrier Reef, Sydney Opera House, Bondi Beach and other places
  • Worked as an assistant rabbi of a shul
  • Had an internship at a shul
  • Had explicit conversations
  • Became an aunt
  • Wrote tshuvot
  • Lived in New York City
  • Danced with Bill Nye
  • Went to Zurich
  • Felt like my heart was broken but then had it mend a bit

It was by far not an easy year. There were parts that were amazing and parts that had me crying almost daily. I hope that this upcoming year I will feel like I made the right choices. I hope that it is one of growth and feeling of calm. A year that I feel complete.

 

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Author:

I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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