I think of what it will be like to immerse in the Mikvah.
To prepare my body for such an experience – and taking notice of my physical form but for a potential spiritual change. Showering, scrubbing, combing…
To be naked and underwater – to feel a body of water all over myself without any barriers. What would it be like to be that way not only in my physical state but also in an emotional and spiritual one? What would it mean to literally and figuratively take off all of my layers and just be? How beautiful the quiet and pressure of the water might feel when it is just me floating about?
To go in one way and to come out different. The mikva is used to mark change – from tameh to tahor; from prohibited to permitted; from outside to inside. To mark that I was one thing and I am now something else. The other part is still there, because I am still me, water is not able to take that away — but I am something new.
On and off I have been thinking about going to the mivkah, maybe one day I will actually do it.