Posted in Life

On Being Afraid

I have to say, I am very afraid of what is happening in the US right now. The hate that has become more public terrifies me.

I am scared as an individual. What does it mean to live in a country that hate me because of my religion? (A statement that I have heard people talk about, but until now never thought about for myself). What does it mean to belong to a country that openly says that those who are not the same deserve to be killed or injured? Will I have to be afraid to talk to people? Will I have to be afraid to go out in public? Will I have to fear for my brothers or father or friends who go out with a kippa? Are the stories of the start of the rise of Hitler coming again, but no longer as a story being told, but a story that I am witnessing?

I am scared as a soon to be clergy member. I am afraid of what that means to be a target. I am afraid of not knowing how or being able to comfort people who turn to me for help. I am afraid that I am not strong enough to fight a fight, that seems like it can’t be won (although I wholeheartedly feel like it MUST be won). I’m afraid that I am not eloquent or knowledgeable enough to actually say things.

I haven’t been posting any articles on Facebook. I feel like the same ones are being passed around. I haven’t been speaking out mostly because I don’t feel like I have the words. I read articles and see videos and it makes me afraid. In some ways I want to post everything. In other ways, I feel like it won’t do anything.  I want something real to do, even though that idea scares me – which is hard to do from abroad. I know that people are hurting and are in pain. I know that people are trying to create change. I know that there are people fighting. I know that there are people creating safe spaces. I know that there are people joining together to try and make sure that “Never Again” actually means that – not only for the Jewish people, but for all who are being persecuted.

And at the same time, only yesterday there was a question on CNN if Jews are people; or a rally that ended with “Hail Trump“, and that is not to mention the graffiti that was found across the US.

I pray that this stops. I pray that we are able to take those who are full of senseless hate out of positions of power. I pray that the government is built in a way to make sure that things like this are not allowed. I pray that those who are afraid, will not fear any more. I pray that those who are fighting, will not lose strength. I pray that we as a human race, will learn how not to hate.

 

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Author:

I'm not always the greatest at sharing what is in my head. Here is a place that I am experimenting with sharing my ideas and thoughts. They are about my life, my experiences in becoming a rabbi, things that I see going on around me, and sometimes words of Torah.

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