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A List of Things

So I’m studying to be a rabbi, and in a school that gets a lot of press (it is a big deal that we are women). I know that I am going into a field that there is little to no privacy, and almost everything I do can and will be looked at. More than that, because it is so small, everything that I do most likely will get back to the school, and has the ability to effect the other women learning there and trying to get jobs. So here is a list of a bunch of things that if I did them it could jeopardize  my (and potentially my colleagues’) careers.

  • Eat non-Kosher
  • Let it known publicly that I think that egalitarian prayer is ok
  • Let it known publicly that I attend egalitarian prayer services
  • Start to go to egalitarian services on a regular basis
  • Date someone who is not Jewish
  • Be open about not being shomer negiah
  • Be open about the desire to do more than I have (or even act on it- and what if people find out….)
  • Wear pants out
  •  Wear a tank top out
  • Show cleavage
  • Have pictures taken of me on a beach with a bathing suit
  • Have pictures of me touching a guy
  • Have pictures of me wearing things that are not socially acceptable
  • Post “inappropriate” pictures or articles or posts on social media
  • Talk publicly about things that happened in my old program
  • Live with a guy (no matter what our relationship is)
  • Publicly break Shabbat
  • Say something that is controversial be that politics, religion, women, God, etc.
  • Take a job in an organization that is not in the denomination
  • Attend a prayer service regularly that is not in the denomination and they know what I do in life

Ok, so there is a long list (and it probably could be longer if I wanted to sit here writing), but I think that I try (and I hope others in my situation as well) to live life normally. It is not possible to truly live life when feeling like someone is always watching over their shoulder. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t feel this pressure. I do- and a lot. And I think it does affect some of my choices in life. But at the same time, there are things that I choose to do, knowing that it is not totally accepted, because I feel like either they are the right thing to do or I need to do them for my own person-hood. I hope that I am making the right choices, and I am not actually doing anything to jeopardize my own (or other’s) careers.

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Author:

I'm not always the greatest at sharing what is in my head. Here is a place that I am experimenting with sharing my ideas and thoughts. They are about my life, my experiences in becoming a rabbi, things that I see going on around me, and sometimes words of Torah.

2 thoughts on “A List of Things

  1. I have much admiration for your choices and vocation. Religions tend to focus on issues that are not the focus of God, but we do our best. I enjoy reading about your experiences and faith.

    Like

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