Yes, I look much younger than I am.
It starts with the confused face when I mention that I finished my MA 7 years ago. Or when I say that I haven’t driven in over 7 years. Or when I say that I haven’t lived with my parents or in my home town for 13 (almost 14 years). Or when we talk about work and accomplishments, and well, my CV is kinda long.
It doesn’t really matter how much make up I wear. Or if I am wearing high heels. I just look young. I know that it will be good when I get older. My mom and my paternal grandmother both don’t look even close to their actual age. But for now, part of me wants to look my age.
Part of me wants people to know that I am 30 (almost 31…), so that I don’t shock a 24-year-old (who might have been hitting on me). Or maybe looking my age would make me feel my age – I don’t feel like I am almost 31. Or maybe it is because I’m not married or have kids or I’m still in school [ye, cultural expectations].
Or maybe I don’t need to try to be that. Maybe it is not only about my youthful skin, but also my youthful energy (something that I am told I have as well).
As my birthday is only a few weeks away, I hope that I don’t lose my youthfulness. Although I do hope that I find myself respected as an adult [even without kids or a husband…]