Posted in Dating, Decisions

This Makes No Sense…What Should I Do?

I met someone. I met someone who is making me feel different than anyone else that I have ever met. There is a level of intimacy and intensity that I have never felt and I am not 100% sure what to do with. It is not a bad feeling; actually there is something nice about it.

There is something nice about feeling comfortable with another person. I find that I am able (and willing) to actually say what I am thinking and feeling. It was comfortable to be seen out with him, and for him to meet me roommate, or to just lay there with him.

But then none of this makes any sense as I am leaving in 5 weeks, and he is gone for a week of that. He is older and interested in dating for marriage (as am I), but what is this? This makes no sense whatsoever.

The rational part of me is telling me to break it off, because it has gotten really intense really quickly, and it will only get more so if we continue to see each other. But the other part of me is telling me to stay with it, that there is something happening. Usually, my rational part tells me and forces me to cut something like this off, but for some reason the idea of doing that makes me sad, and I want to say with it…

And so the two of us have spoken, and both of us feel the same way, and really have no clue what to do. Do I push to stay with him and see what happens (who knows we might hate each other or have to have a serious conversation about a long distance relationship)? Or do I say goodbye now? Or do I do something else that I haven’t thought of yet?

What would you do? What advice do you have for me?


I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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