Posted in D'var Torah, Life, Uncategorized

The Beauty of the Half

This past Friday was my half birthday, and slowly I am getting into my 30’s…

People laugh that I think about my half birthday- but I do. I look at it as a half way point in the year. Where am I now? Have I started to accomplish any of my goals? Is my life starting to look the way I want it to? What do I want to do for the rest of the year?

The half way point is actually quite important marker.

This past week we also read Parshat Shkalim- the part where Beni Yisrael was commanded to bring a half a shekel for the census. Yes, just a half. Many commentaries look at this as a way to show that no person is fully whole, and so bringing a half shows that.

I know for myself, I like to see the whole picture. I plan A LOT. I go through things in my head, over and over again, just trying to figure out what will happen next. At times I want to be able to see what the outcomes will be, but even before I start (it makes decision making very difficult).

But maybe there is a beauty to the half. A way to see that there really isn’t any way to see the whole picture. One has no idea what the outcome will be until the time is experienced- and the half way point is a good place where you have the ability to both look behind you, but also look ahead. It is also something that can continue forever (if you continue marking things in the halves…).

So yes, I celebrate my half birthday, looking at the past 6 months and looking ahead at the upcoming six months. And counting in halves really does show that we are not whole, but also shows that we always have room for growth and change.

Things that have happened in the past 6 months:

  • Started a new school
  • Spoke in a number of shuls
  • Flew back to Israel & restarted life
  • Bought a one-way ticket to the US
  • Started seeing a therapist, learning how to talk about my feelings and not just the intellectual side

Things that I know will be happening in the next 6 months

  • Moving to the US for an undetermined amount of time
  • Starting CPE
  • Packing up and saying goodbye to my life from the past 6 years
  • Running a ball at the nursing home

Things I want to happen in the next 6 months:

  • Push myself to go to as many social things as possible
  • Start saying yes to things instead of no because lack of time (ie. Find time for fun)
  • Have some sort of relationship
  • Start to feel comfortable with my emotions
  • Allow myself to “go with the flow”
  • Go to Petra while I am still here in Israel

 

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Author:

I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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