Posted in Stories from the Nursing Home

On Marriage and Clothing: From the Nursing Home

Today my day started with a converstaion with one of the women (She is in her late 90’s, came to Israel in the 30’s. Worked in agriculture and in a bank, taught meditation. Made a decision when she was young to never get married nor have any kids.) at the nursing home. Just after saying goodmorning, she says:
W: Good morning rebbetzin. You are not made to be a rebbetzin…
me: Why not?
W:You just aren’t the right personality for it. It just not your personality. {she askes the woman next to her if she agrees, but the woman started talking about my water bottle- and so we burst out laughing.}
me: What should I do instead?
W: Be an actress, that would suit you. And/or a wife. You need to give a lot of comfort as a wife, and you are good at that. Also, you need to be a good actress to be a wife…
From this we had a long conversation at the table about what I should do with my life and ideas of marriage vs. independence.


A conversation with one of the men (who was a very religious pulpit rabbi when he was younger, people still come to him as their rabbi, even though he has dementia):
Man: I notice that you wear something different every day.
Me: Is that a problem?
Man: No on the contrary…
Me: Don’t most people change what they wear every day?
Man: Women do, men don’t.
Me: Well, I am a woman
Man: You are, aren’t you (with a smile)
This then went onto a conversation about men’s and women’s clothing in history. I think to myself that it is great that the residents are actually paying attention to something.



I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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