Posted in D'var Torah

Leaving is Not Always Easy

In Parshat Bo the Jews are taken out of Egypt. They were slaves for 410 years- obviously they would want to run away as quickly as possible. But both here and throught the rest of the book of Shmot, they complain about leaving. They are afraid of what will be. Here they know what their problems are, who they are up against, how they will be treated– when they leave there is no knowing. Things could be equally as bad, but just with a different ruler.

I think to myself about my leaving of schools. Part of my fear was that things were going to be equally as bad, just in a different way- but at least here, I knew what to expect. And even now, when I know in my heart of hearts that it was the right choice (as I am much happier and healthier this year), there are things that I long for, from what I used to have. I can see that it is just a natural response. We are creatures that try and find at least some good in what is happening in our lives, even in the worst of times- and so it is those things that we tend to miss.

It is interesting that this is also the Parsha that we get the laws of Rosh Chodesh and Tefillin, and are told to remember that we were slaves and we were taken out. We are not meant to forget our past, we are supposed to remember what happed, and allow it to influence our future. We are told to keep track of our own time and to literally bind ourselves with God. [Potentially this can also work with the male and female entities, especially for those who think women can’t/shouldn’t wear tefillin, and Rosh Chodesh is seen as a woman’s holiday.] We have things that remind us daily, montly and yearly of the leaving of Egypt.

I don’t think that we are just to remember that God did great miracles. I think that we are meant to remember the ability to find the good in bad situations. That we were able to survive and grow even after long years of hardship. That this story is part of what makes me who I am today.

We can look into our own pasts- of times that we were able to overcome hardship (or partially overcome hardship), and learn and remember from those things. It is only from the remembering that we will be able to come out strong again.

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Author:

I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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