Posted in Israel, Life

I want…

I want to be able to breath again. I find myself holding my breath and not know what to do or how to act.

I want to not be numb or make myself numb. I read the news each day and I am not sure what to do with all of the information that I have taken in. I need to teach, I need to go on with my life- but at the same time there is that little reminding me that another horrible thing has taken place.

I want to be able to wake up with out wondering how many were killed last night. I want to not feel bad that I was able to have a deep sleep, without a worry that I might have to wake up in the middle of night and run to a shelter as quickly as I can.

I want to be to see people posting about the stupid things- buzzfeed quizzes, articles about nothing, baby pictures- all of that instead of seeing articles and pictures about death and destruction. About how we don’t remember how to act respectful to one another. That we have come to a point that all we know is how to kill and how to destroy.

I want to not feel like it is an ok thing to be killing. I want the fighting to stop, but I also understand why it needs to continue. It shouldn’t be that people are unable to live their lives because a rocket might fall at any minute. Or that there is a tunnel directly under their dining room where the enemy wants and will just enter to murder people, just because. People need to be able to protect themselves.

I want there to be a time when we are doing good things for each other, not because the world seems bad around us. I am reading about people and organizations donating food, clothing, and basic necessities to soldiers and those living in the South. It is great to read that stores are creating toiletry kits that people can purchase for cheap that are sent to soldiers. Why can’t we do this all year long- and send it to the needy in our communities. Why is it that we start doing good things and joining together only when the world seems like it is a mess?

I want everyone to be able to live happy, peaceful, and quiet lives. That people are able to go to work and then enjoy time with their families and friends. That their biggest worry is what do they want to make for dinner or even better yet, what TV show should they watch that night. We shouldn’t need the bad and the pain to bring us to a “meaningful” life. We should be able to see the greatness and the beauty of the world, and work to perfect that- so that everyone is able to enjoy.

May we all see more peaceful, calmer, and happier days in the not so distant future.



I am prone to overthinking and not to sharing. I decided to start writing and see what happens. So here are some stories and life situations (sometimes words of Torah) of a 30 something single woman, who happens to be a rabbi (received ordination in 2017- so there are posts of what that experience was like), will be working as a chaplain (and worked for years with older adults), is regularly asked what city she is located in (started the blog while living in Israel, found herself working in Australia, and will be in New York for at least a year), and is just trying to figure out her place in the world.

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